she of no scruples (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} writeatmidnight) wrote,@ 2006-12-06 19:00:00 |
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| Entry tags: | rps, sick 'verse |
Fic: Green Around the Edges
Title: Green Around the Edges
Author: writeatmidnight
Rating: PG-14
Characters: Jared/Jensen
Summary: Who would have guessed that watching someone heave their lunch into a wastebasket could make you realize that, hey, maybe you have a thing for them.
Disclaimer: Sadly, none of this happened, nor do I have anything to do with these guys.
Warnings: no actual porn *gasp*, some sappy crud, slashy thoughts
AN: I never thought I’d write real people anything. But I got this silly little scene in my head, and then it kind of snowballed until I just had to write it down. I plan on writing more in this 'verse, but the boys are in for a long ride before there's actually any porn. Sorry.
***NOTES ON THE OVERALL STORY (added after I finished writing the entire shebang): Yeah, so somewhere in there this story become somewhat "popular." I still don't know how or why. But I'd like to think of this story as the ultimate J2 soap opera, in which Jared is a big ole Jensen fangirl and Jensen has many issues. It's really over-the-top, ok? I know it is. I never set out to write a stunning piece of literature. So please don't go into this thinking otherwise, and then later drop me a comment telling me all the ways in which this story just didn't work for you. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. And that's cool with me.
***WARNINGS FOR THE OVERALL STORY: The warnings will spoil you big time, but if you really need to know what you're getting into, highlight here: [spoiler] some chapters deal with the mention of sexual abuse (of a child), attempted non-con (of an adult), and generally unsettling original characters. It is vague. None of it is overly graphic or detailed. The child abuse is mentioned in passing as part of the plot. [/spoiler]
* Sick verse: 01 Green Around the Edges | 02 Contagious | 03 Always Off Limits | 04 Walk in the Snow | 05 What Goes Around Comes Around | 06 But What a Way to Go | 07 When Green Meets Red | 08 After an Afternoon | 09 Nobody Ever Said It'd Be Easy | 10 The Art of Chocolate | 11 Stumbling Out of the Closet | 12 Why Aren't You Stopping Me? | 13 With Eyes Closed | 14 Where Else Would I Be? | 15 Like Putty in His Hands | 16 No | 17 To Trust | 18 Wrong Side of the Sunrise | 19 The Size of Texas | 20 Ten to Disaster | 21 Somewhere in the Heart of the Aftermath | 22 The Epic Love Story of Jared and Jensen | 23 Yours | 24 Just a Murmur | 25 You Know That Saying? | 26 And the World Just Keeps Spinning | 27 Shut Up and Hold Me
“I’m fine. I’m not sick.”
Skeptical. “You sure?”
“I haven’t been sick in a freakin’ decade.”
“A decade, huh? Guess the gods figured you were overdue.”
“Fuck off.”
“Aw, Jen, don’t be like that.”
“I feel like I’m dying.”
Jared grabbed Jensen by the arm and guided him into the apartment. “Get off me. I’m not an invalid,” Jensen griped, pulling away and stumbling into the living room.
“Seriously, man, Kripke’s right. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“Really. I’m fine. You can leave.”
“Just let me help you get into bed.”
“I can climb into bed on my own, thanks.”
“Dude, you’re swaying on your feet.”
“I---”
Jared pouted. “You’re a really cranky sick person. Let me help you get to bed and then I’ll leave, ok?”
Jared could see the moment that Jensen relented in the way his shoulders suddenly slumped. Ah, defeat. A beautiful sight at 5 in the evening.
“Fine. Whatever.”
Jensen let Jared guide him through the living room and down the hall to the bedroom, where Jared gestured at him with a long-fingered hand and told him to strip down.
Jensen mumbled a halfhearted, “You tryin’ to take advantage of me, Padelecki?” while chucking off his outer shirt, shoes, and jacket, and climbing out of his jeans.
Jared threw his head back and laughed. “Yea, I’ve just been waiting for you to get sick so I can take ya down when you’re all weak and defenseless.”
“Crap. I don’t even care,” Jensen groaned, throwing himself at the bed in his t-shirt and boxers. Shivering, he scooted under the covers until all Jared could see were two bright, glassy green eyes peeking out. “Can ya get the curtain on the window, Jay? ‘S too bright.”
“Yea, I got it.” By the time Jared turned away from the window and back to the bed, Jensen was already dozing off.
Jared moved to leave, stopped in the bedroom doorway, turned back around and hesitated. Maybe he should get Jensen some water or something. And did his face look unusually flushed?
Quietly, Jared made his way over to the bed and stood staring down at his co-star. “Jen?” he whispered. Then louder: “Jen?”
“Huhnnggm,” Jensen mumbled, cracking his eyes open.
Jared shifted uncomfortably. “You need anything else? Maybe some water?”
“Just sleep,” he replied, burrowing further down into the covers. “Cold in here.”
“It is? Want me to turn the thermostat up?”
“Yea.”
When Jared got back into the room, he rested his hand over the sleeping head.
Green eyes flicked open again. “What’re you doing?”
“Dude, you’re burning up. You have a thermometer in this place?”
“’Course. It’s right there on the bed stand by the scented hand lotion and smelling salts.”
“Jackass.” Uncertain, Jared sat down on the empty side of the bed, careful not to disturb the part Jen was lying on. “Maybe I shouldn’t leave you like this.”
Jen groaned, shifted so that he could peer up at Jared’s face. “I’m not dying. I’ll be fine once I get some sleep.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Wow, I guess I must really look like shit.”
Studying Jen’s face, Jared tilted his head, considering. Actually, someone that sick shouldn’t still look that good. It just wasn’t fair. “Nah, you look pretty good. The fever makes your eyes look kinda sparkly and…” Yea, he figured it was a good time to stop that line of thought when he caught sight of the look on Jensen’s face.
“Hand me the trash can by the door.”
“Oh, c’mon. I was just kidding. Don’t you know how to accept a compliment?”
“No, Jared…I… I’m about to throw up.”
God, it was just a compliment. It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t have to be such an ass about it--- oh. Wait. Shit. Gross. Jared lunged for the little can and barely made it back to the bed in time to shove it into Jensen’s hands before he revisited his lunch.
Vomit was really, really disgusting. It was almost enough to make Jared turn and leave right then and there. God, the door looked so tempting. But he couldn’t leave Jen alone there on the bed, retching his insides into a plastic wastebasket.
So he sat there quietly by Jensen’s side until the sound of liquid hitting plastic subsided and he got up the courage to drag his eyes back over to the scene. Jensen was kneeling forward on the bed, gripping the sides of the garbage can, head hidden in the little can, and dry heaving like his life depended on sending his liver and small intestine into the trash with the burger he’d had for lunch hours ago.
Sympathy creased Jared’s forehead. He reached out and awkwardly patted Jensen’s heaving back. “’S ok, Jen. It’s gonna be ok.” Whatever. He had no idea what he was saying, just that back when he was little and got sick, his mom would murmur comforting little phrases to him and it always made him feel better.
Jensen finally leaned back, face ghost-white, eyes red. The smell of puke slowly rose in the air, and Jared had to wrinkle his nose and hold his breath to keep from gagging.
“Uh, here,” Jared offered, arm reaching to the trash can, “lemme get rid of this so you don’t have to smell it anymore.” And before I vomit next. This is friggin’ nasty.
Jared went to the bathroom and flushed the vile contents down the toilet, then rinsed the bucket out with the shower hose and brought it back into the bedroom in case Jen needed it again. God, let’s hope not. I don’t think I can take smelling that again.
Jensen was still in a sitting position, but now his head was leaning back against the wall, mouth open, eyes closed. He was the picture of pathetic.
Jared set the can by the bed, went into the bathroom again, and came back out with a cup of water and a cool cloth.
Sliding back onto the bed jolted Jen awake.
Jared handed him the water. “Here, swoosh this around in your mouth. It’ll help get the taste out.”
Jared realized that he must really be out of it when he obeyed without a word.
Setting the cup by the bed, he said, “Jeez, Jen. Are your teeth actually chattering? Slide back under the covers.”
More pliant obedience. Jared nearly grinned. He’d have to bring all this up later when Jensen was no longer barfing half his body weight into the trash.
From under the blanket, Jensen looked up at him with round, trusting eyes, and Jared felt a tiny piece of his heart flutter and slip away from him. He shook his head as if to clear it. Uh. What the hell?
“Jare…” Jensen mumbled. “I feel like crap… like really, really bad…”
“I know.”
“Really… bad…”
“It’s gonna be ok,” Jared said soothingly, and brought the wet cloth up and over the hot skin on Jensen’s face. Across his flushed-pink cheeks, down delicate features to his mouth. Jensen’s eyes fluttered shut and Jared thought, Jesus. Just… JESUS. He ghosted the cool material over Jen’s mouth, down his neck. And then, I have no idea what the hell’s happening.
“You don’t have to stay,” Jen said in a soft, dreamy, not-quite-all-there tone that Jared had never heard before.
“It’s no problem,” Jared choked out, unsure why he was having trouble getting words out, because seriously man WHAT THE FUCK.
“You really don’t have to do this for me.” His eyes opened again and made a half-attempt at focusing on Jared. The light from the softly glowing bedside lamp made little golden flecks glitter in the crystalline green eyes.
Jared almost forgot that he needed to respond.
Letting out a shaky breath and a small lop-sided smile, he said, “Nah, it’s no problem. Not like I actually have anything else to be doing since my only co-star’s off drinking or vacationing or something.”
Jensen let out a soft snort in reply, and Jared fixed the covers around his body.
“Seriously. It’s all good. I don’t mind,” Jared said a little too breathlessly.
Jared woke with a full body jerk and nearly fell out of the lounge chair he’d been dozing in for the past 5 hours. Jensen’s bedside alarm clock claimed it was 10pm. Huh.
Standing and stretching, Jared flicked on the lamp and moved to the bed, where he proceeded to hover over the form that was huddled under the covers. He peeled the blankets back a tiny bit and felt for Jensen’s forehead.
Christ. If he’d had a thermometer, he figured it would be flashing a warning or something at this point. Jensen didn’t respond to the hand on his face ghosting down to cup his warm cheek. Jesus, Jense. This can’t be good.
Jared found himself in Jensen’s kitchen without actually remembering how he got there. It’d been a long day.
He ruffled through the cupboards, searched through drawers until he found some Tylenol in the very back of a drawer. Didn’t his mom used to give him Tylenol to bring his fevers down? He couldn’t remember if it’d been Tylenol or something else. Maybe he should call her. Wait. What time was it in Texas?
Yea, Tylenol sounded like it’d do the trick. Maybe. Hopefully.
He came back into the room armed with two pills and a glass of water. Sat down on the bed and poked Jensen in the side.
Jensen didn’t budge.
“Jen? Wake up.”
No movement.
“C’mon, man. You’re kinda scaring me here.”
He leaned over further until he was breathing down into the other man’s face. He put a hand on the side of Jensen’s face and another on his chest to make sure he was actually breathing.
“Jensen?”
Jared jumped when Jensen moaned low in the back of his throat. His eyes sprung open, bright and glossed over. “Jared?” His voice resembled something that had recently been dragged over gravel.
“Yea, ‘s ok. Just me. I think you need to take something to bring the fever down.”
“Your hands are cold.”
“Huh? Oh.” Jared blushed at the realization that he still had his hand on Jensen’s cheek. “Sorry… Uh, here, let me help you sit up.” Hooking an arm under Jensen’s armpit, he half pulled, half supported Jen into a sitting position.
After Jensen took the pills, he slid back down, and Jared straightened the covers back over him and wondered when he had turned into a freakin’ mother hen.
“You can watch TV or something,” Jensen muttered, eyes at half-mast, lips barely moving with the words.
“Sure. Ok.” I’d rather watch you… crap, why am I even thinking stuff like that?
“’S cold.”
“It’s the fever.”
“Haven’t felt this bad in… ever.”
“Not so invincible, huh?”
“Shuddup.”
The bed was actually shaking a little with Jensen’s shudders and trembles, so Jared slid down on the still-covered side of the king-sized bed and threw an arm around Jensen’s shoulders. He expected some sort of comment, something, but Jen surprised him by cuddling into the crook of his arm, seeking warmth and comfort.
And whoa. It felt really… good. Too damn good. It shouldn’t feel right like this.
Eyes closed, Jensen muttered, “So cold.”
“Yea,” Jared breathed out on an exhale he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Yea.”
Casually, Jared turned onto his side so that he could put his other arm around the hot little furnace that was Jensen’s body.
He tensed and waited for Jen to tell him to bug off, move over, leave.
Jen didn’t move. He already appeared to be off in fevered dream land again.
Jared considered shifting away from him and climbing out of the bed. Wasn’t there something weird--maybe even morally wrong--with touching a barely coherent sick person so intimately?
But really, he didn’t want to move. At all. Ever.
Aw, crap.
Ok, so Jensen had way over 20 freckles sprinkled across his cheeks.
Jared had bet himself there were around 20. Heh. Oops.
And yea, he counted them. So what? It didn’t mean anything. It wasn't like he suddenly found them absolutely adorable and totally endearing, whereas before he’d never really taken notice except to tease when Jensen bitched about burning and freckling when they did long scenes out in the sun. He was just bored right now. Yea, that was it… boredom.
Jen sighed in his sleep, lashes fluttering across his freckled cheeks.
The sight mesmerized Jared for a moment.
And hey… whoa. Lookit that. Jared had definitely never taken notice of how long Jensen’s eyelashes were. Did guys even have lashes that long? He leaned in a little closer for further inspection, staring in something akin to wonder. The contrast between pale skin and those long, coal-colored lashes happened to be really nice.
Huh, pretty.
Crap. Did I just call Jensen pretty? Dude. I need some serious help.
Maybe I’m coming down with something, too. Great, Kripke’s gonna love it with both of us sick.
Jared shifted his hold on Jensen, slowly and carefully maneuvering around to get in a more comfortable position without waking him. In his sleep, Jensen shifted, too, unconsciously scooting closer to the heat of Jared’s body until his head ended up tucked into Jared’s chest and his hair tickled Jared’s chin.
A shiver shot through Jared’s body. Frighteningly, it felt suspiciously like want mixed with other words Jared refused to even allow enter his mind at the moment.
He let a hand leave Jen’s back to brush at the hair tickling his neck and chin.
And… Ooh. Soft.
Jensen’s hair shouldn’t feel this soft. It just shouldn’t, ok. Jared found himself threading his fingers through the soft brown strands, enjoying the feel of the short, silky pieces in between his fingers.
It was a good thing Jen was out like a freakin’ light, because all Jared could think about was just exactly how wrong all of this was. For the love of God, it was Jensen. And he was a guy, and Jared was not gay, and Jensen was his co-star whom he’d never looked at like this before, and it was all really, really bad and GodohGod, wrongsosowrong, and Jensen felt fucking perfect in his arms…
Crap. I am so screwed.
Jared woke to Jensen wiggle-sliding out from under his arms.
No, no. Come back…
“Jen? You ok?”
Jensen shook his head, wide-eyed and lost looking, and made for the bathroom.
Jared cringed when he heard the familiar sounds of retching again.
After several minutes, Jared came to the bathroom door and leaned on the frame. Jensen had his head resting on the toilet seat and looked for all the world like he was snoozing right there on the bathroom floor, toilet a pillow.
“Wow, man. You comfortable down there?”
Jensen grunted.
Jared walked in behind him, hooked an arm underneath each armpit and hauled him up. Jen sagged against him all the way back to the bed, where Jared half lifted him, half shoved him back into the sheets and blankets, and then proceeded to tuck the covers around him again.
“Think I’m dyin’, Jay.”
“You’ll be ok by morning.”
“Wanna bet?”
“It’s not fair to bet with a half dead man.”
“Uggn.”
“Yea. Go back to sleep, Jense.”
“’Kay.”
The next time Jared cracked his eyes open, sun was shimmering through the closed curtains on the window. Still fully clothed, he had conked out on his back next to Jensen shortly after the trip to the bathroom.
Yawning, Jared dragged his body up and turned toward Jensen, who was sprawled out on his stomach, hair the only thing peeking out from under the covers.
Jared sighed long and hard.
That had been one hell of a night. In more ways than one.
Maybe now, in the daylight, he’d be able to gather the scattered pieces of his ridiculous brain and see things clearly. Things can always seem a little weird and sometimes surreal at night.
Jared reached over and felt Jen’s forehead. Ah, much better. Just call him Doctor McAwesome. Damn straight.
Grinning a little to himself, he shuffled to the kitchen and started pawing through the fridge.
Juice, fruit, waffles… mm, waffles. Perfect.
The next time he went back into the bedroom, he had a plate of waffles in one hand and a glass of orange juice with a straw in the other.
“Up and at ‘em, Jennybean.”
Jensen managed to moan out a, “Gnuh” into the pillow.
“Dude, you know it’s noon?”
“I’m sick, man, leave me alone.”
“Yea, guess you’re right. Sorry. Are you hungry? I’ve got waffles.”
A faint sound of protest rose from the bed. “Haaaate you. Don’t mention food. Ever again. Please… God.”
Guiltily, Jared moved toward the bed and sat down on the edge. “Sorry. I forgot about your uh… night with the toilet.” He set the plate on the bed stand and kept the juice. “Drink some juice. They always give sick people OJ.”
Jensen rolled over onto his back, blinked at the ceiling for a minute before pulling himself up to lean back against the headboard.
Jared’s stomach dropped to his feet at the same time that his heart leaped into his throat and threatened to choke him.
Pillow creases in his face and hair pointing a dozen different directions did nothing to change the way Jared had started feeling about Jensen during the night. It all flooded into his brain and hit him like a punch in the stomach as soon as he caught sight of Jensen in the morning light.
Fucking hell.
If anything, the feelings were almost stronger in the daylight. While at night they had seemed kind of silly and kinda-maybe could’ve been passed off as an impish little Jared joke (in his own mind, anyway), in the morning they were scarily real.
A new feeling emerged among the wrongsosowrong ones: fear.
Casual, nonchalant. “I think your fever’s down.”
“Yea, I feel a little better.”
“Awesome. You---”
Jared’s words got stuck in his throat as he watched Jensen’s perfect lips form an O and curl around the juice straw.
Gnuhhahhhuhh, his mind buzzed at him, then finally formed an adjective: Gorgeous.
“What?” Jensen asked.
And Jared wanted to scream, What? WHAT THE HELL! Do you even know what you’re doing to me?
Of course Jensen had no idea what he was doing to him. Because if he’d had any idea what was running through Jared’s mind at the moment, he’d be freaking the fuck out exactly the way Jared was about to do.
Jared repeated, “What?”
“You were about to say something.”
“Oh. I was?” He chuckled, though to his own ears it sounded slightly like an insane little shriek. “Never mind.”
Jensen put the juice on the nightstand, caught sight of the waffles and grimaced. “Dude. Waffles. Shit, there’s even syrup on them.” His eyes went wide and child-like, and he was starting to look a little green around the edges, like a piece of moldy cheese.
Green and fuzzy around the edges pretty much described how Jared felt at the moment.
“Sorry, sorry.” Moving quickly, Jared brought the offending food back to the kitchen. When he entered the room again, Jensen was tottering out of bed and Jared ran up behind to catch him, wrapping long supporting arms around his chest and waist.
“I’m ok. Dude. I’m fine.”
“You didn’t look fine just now.”
“My equilibrium’s just a little off. I got it now.”
Jared bit back the moan that edged its way up his throat. He wasn’t sure, but he might have been breathing heavily. Just… just… the close proximity to Jensen, arms around his slender, perfect waist. It was doing things to Jared that it should never, never do. And the fact that he really, really wanted to move his hands lower on Jen’s body--maybe to those narrow hips, maybe elsewhere--was even worse.
“Jared? I said I got it.”
Jared released him, almost as though he’d been scorched by a hot pan. “Cool. Yea. Ok. You sure you’re good?”
“Yea. Uh… thanks.” Jensen disappeared into the bathroom, and Jared wanted to die. Right here. Right now.
How could this happen all of a sudden after more than a year? Feelings he’d never had before for Jensen--hell, for any man for that matter--feelings he’d never even thought of before were suddenly the only thing on his mind. How did something like this just… happen?
More importantly, how was he going to work in such close proximity to Jensen now when all these little things had the power to set him off and send his mind and body spinning away without his permission?
One thing was for sure: Jared was going to hunt down whatever little twit had sneezed or coughed on Jensen and passed along this fucking cold/flu/stomach-thing/whatever. That bitch was going down. It was the least he could do to the person who’d ruined his life.
“Too tired to shower. How pathetic is that?” Jensen said, climbing back into the bed.
“Too weetle and weak, you mean?”
“Screw you.”
Jared forced a grin. Yea, ok. He could do this. Everything was going to be A-ok.
Jensen yanked his t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. Jared froze to the spot.
Jesus. Breathe, Padelecki, just breathe.
“So what’d you do all night while I was barfing my guts into the toilet?” Jensen asked him as he scooted back under the warm covers.
Jared nearly let out a sigh of relief that the tan, freckly skin slid under the safety of the covers where he couldn’t ogle it like some freak. Or worse, some freakin’ fan girl, for God’s sake.
He couldn’t imagine how long it’d take him to count all the freckles on that back. Actually, yea, he could imagine it, and that was the problem. Because he could also imagine licking each and every one.
Fuckityfuck.
Wait. Hadn’t Jensen just asked him a question or something?
Oh yea. The question. What had he done all night.
Fell in love with you, dude.
…
Ahh, crap on a cracker.
Jared sat on Jen’s bed flipping idly through TV stations. He had no idea what was flashing by on the screen. The only thing his body and mind seemed to be aware of was Jensen propped up on pillows right beside him.
“You know, if you’re bored you can leave whenever you want. You’re not my prisoner here.”
Role playing. Kinky. Yes, please.
“I… uh. Are you sure you’re feeling better?”
Yawning, Jensen stretched his arms over his head and answered, “Yea, I think it was just a 24 hour bug or something.”
In amazement, Jared watched Jensen’s chest and…
I have got to get out of here.
Jared stood. “Ok, I guess I’ll head out then. Are you gonna feel like coming back on set tomorrow?”
“Yea. Pretty sure.”
“’Kay. See you then, I guess.” He turned to go.
“Hey, Jared?”
Crap, he knows. He sensed it somehow.
With a gulp, he turned back to face the bed.
“Thanks for being there for me last night. I owe you one.”
Jared forced a casual chuckle out of his mouth. “Yea, well you can make it up to me if this bug turns out to be contagious and I’m barfing up waffles later tonight.”
Jensen’s face crinkled up into a look of disgust. “Waffles and barf. Hey, have I ever mentioned that I hate you?”
“Crap. Sorry, Jen… I’m getting outta here before I say more.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Yea,” Jared breathed, “tomorrow.”
Wow. Tomorrow’s gonna suck.
{End of part 1}
* Thanks for reading.
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